As I was going to Saint Ives ...

... how many gifts did my true love send to me?

As I was going to Saint Ives,

I met a man with seven wives.

Every wife had seven sacks,

Every sack had seven cats,

And every cat had seven kits.

Kits, cats, sacks and wives,

How many were going to Saint Ives?

Either you can say “none” (no man, no wives, no sacks, no cats and no kits). Or you can say “one”—me (but that wasn’t what was asked).

The man and his wives and their sacks and cats and kits were all coming away from Saint Ives; that’s how I met them. You cannot meet someone who is walking in the same direction as you. One therefore wonders how it is possible to meet someone half way.

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How many more drummers drumming did my true love give to me over the 12 days of Christmas than partridges in pear trees?

He gave me the same number.

He gave me 12 partridges in 12 pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 colly birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese a-laying, 42 swans a-swimming, 40 maids a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords a-leaping, 22 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming.

Twelve partridges and 12 drummers. A mathematician could possibly tell me how I could know that virtually instantly.

Have a holy night tonight, and I’ll see you in the morning, once Santa has been.