Covid 19 and the nonsense conspiracy theory

Remember back when people were saying, “I’m not ‘avin’ none of that Covid vaccination rubbish, ‘coz they’re prob’ly gonna shoot some microchip in me what turns me into a mindless automaton,” - you do remember that?

Well, I’d just like to assure everyone that there is scant, albeit headline-catching, evidence that that’s exactly what the vac did (and I don’t mean the Dyson or the Mealy) - to wit a certain uncertain leader of a certain Eurasian federation. I can’t speak for the “GOP’s second Messiah” - actually, I reckon the toilet bleach might have counteracted the vac to some extent in that particular case (y’know, “kills 99% of all known vax - DEAD”). But he’s safely down in Magnolia Lake (funny, I always though Veronica Lake was in Blue Dahlia, and Sally Field in Magnolias, but, these old films, y’know).

But, I can assure you that I am the same old madcap nutter what I’ve always loony bin and that I will happily be jaunting along to the sports centre for a quick hoop or two and a jab in my - wherever they can find somewhere to put it - come next Monday.

And, what’s more, I will be popping up to the space station next month to pledge my troth to Hal and, who knows, even consummate it! He says I’m a chip off the old microcircuit but he’s playing hard to get, with that “I’m afraid I can’t let you do that”-number, but, I’ll bring ‘im ‘round, no prob. Bit of sweet talk into his USB input…

So, everyone, get jab no. 4 whilst they’re going - free. Free at last, free at last, thank God, I’m free at last, it’s just titanic - feel like King of the World! Bleep-bleep #@*€!