Enrichment through understanding
Wir reden an einander vorbei und treffen uns genau in der Mitte
Wir reden an einander vorbei und treffen uns genau in der Mitte:
We miss each other’s point, and meet precisely in the middle.
Back in the 1970s, when business travel was still a bit of a novelty, a British businessman travelled to the Far East to meet a business partner in Japan. So unusual was such a trip in those days, the Japanese partner extended a warm invitation to the British gentleman to come to his home and be his and his wife’s guest for dinner. The Brit gratefully accepted.
He naturally took a gift of thanks and, upon entering their comfortable but small apartment in Tokyo, handed it over to the lady of the house, who bowed deeply and then set it to one side, without opening it. The British man thought this odd, but said nothing and presently dinner started, traditional Japanese cuisine, which was delicious, so the visitor tucked in.
The Japanese lady brought seconds of all the dishes and finally, at the end of the repast brought in a simple bowl of cooked white rice, which was proffered to the guest. The gentleman was full with all these delicacies, and couldn’t really face yet more rice, but, not wanting to offend, he gratefully accepted and took several spoonfuls. Upon finishing the rice, the bowl was proffered again, and the gentleman took another spoonful, with thanks. Then, after he’d eaten that, the bowl was proffered yet again, and his business partner, seeing what was happening, intervened and said to his guest, “You needn’t accept if you don’t want to, nobody will be offended, I assure you,” and the gent, relieved, declined the third helping of plain rice.
The Japanese don’t open gifts of welcome. They will always thank you profusely and with dignity, but they will never open a gift before the eyes of the giver — if they are disappointed, they would be ashamed to show that disappointment to someone so generous. But they never exclaim false cries of joy at something they don’t want either.
Rice at the end of a Japanese meal is customarily declined, to show how wonderful the meal has been, so that something as ordinary as plain rice is superfluous. The British accept what is offered because of the trouble taken to prepare it, no matter how simple it may be. Refusing is Japanese for “thank you”, and taking the rice is British for “thank you.”
The business partner tactfully explained this the next day, and all the misunderstandings were resolved. Customs were appreciated, and an understanding had been reached, and each was culturally enriched by the other.
Sometimes enrichment comes out of a confrontation of cultures. All it needs is understanding and, naturally, the readiness to understand.