I'd like to connect - here's 868 words on why.

On 28 August 2022, I wrote to an evangelist on LinkedIn in the following terms, asking to connect. I thought I could learn something. Maybe the poor chap is deceased, or lost his computer. Or is just taking his time.

“Dear Michael,

I didn't know "you" were on LinkedIn. I guess you know what I mean - we have never met, of course. But your messages interest me. It says here you're a motivational speaker, and yet you haven't uttered one word as yet. I'd like to 'not hear' more, because this ubiquitous thing we call religion, paid scant regard by many, zealously embraced by some who should be less zealous about doing so, and, in terms of Christianity at least, that seems to offer all things to all men and women, is important.

I'm a man, and it offers something to me, which I embrace under the motto: I have an opinion on everything, but I never impose them. What religion offers may be snidely summarised as a replete banquet, from which, as Mephistopheles says to the drinkers at the inn in Faust, "Chacun sera servi selon ses goûts." Always good for a bit of alliteration, that old devil. You don't know me so all this sounds mysterious, perhaps. I don't intend to be. But some things I know, that I believe you also know. That, while there is no certainty that God is the God shaped in our Christian Bible, He is nonetheless a fact and one doesn't need to search far to find Him: He never intended following Him to be as complex as a degree in Divinity would have us believe.

I recently described religion to a fellow member here on this website as follows: The church (whichever one) is like a panoramic city tour on a polished, comfortable coach. Up front is a city guide with expertise on all the things you will see and hear about. He will ensure the few hours spent in the coach will be filled with everything that you need to know and understand in order to appreciate the city better; he will add anecdotes about this and that and try to be funny, entertain you. He will then leave you at the end, and you will be left to come to terms with the city on your own, but armed with the knowledge he has given you. There is an alternative way, and that is to not bother with the coach or the polished windows, and the guide. You simply buy the book. You self-guide through the city. It's not as comfortable, and you may not see everything and it'll take a lot longer; but in the end you will say that you did it, with just the guide book, and it will feel like the greater achievement for that. And, then, you can also do it, but you just don't bother with the book. You will wander down blind alleys and need to retrace your steps; you will discover bad parts of town that guides don't take tourists to. You will step over lines marked "do not cross" and touch artefacts marked "please do not touch", and you will not know that you shouldn't have done those things. When you get home, you will be exhausted from your travels, but you will realise that no one told you what to see, no one told you what not to see, you had no guide book, and yet, deep within, you will be convinced that your lone journey without the guidebook taught you far more, and in greater depth, than you could have ever learned from the guide or the guide book. I've done all three of these journeys, so I think I can speak with sincerity. What's more, I've been a tour guide. But not all tour guides are good guides: Y'see, guides are told not to take tourists to certain places, because they don't vaunt the city's beauties. But before you visit the wrong side of the tracks, you'll never realise how beautiful this side is. Therefore, the guides who are only after your money, will take you to their favourite kick-back outlet and encourage you to buy cheap cuckoo clocks; they'll tell fantastical stories because they're entertaining, even if they're only half-true. And the worst guide of all will take you out to a lonely spot and simply jaunt off the coach, saying "I'm home, don't know how you lot are getting back." Not every tour guide knows it all, not every guide is responsible, and not every guide can be relied on to do the right thing.

I realise that this is an awful imposition, so I have taken a liberty, for which I ask your understanding. Your invitation was very inviting. Not all invitations are, as it happens. Yours was. If you'd care to connect, I'd love to exchange more views. I could be rash and tell you "God says I should." But I can't presume whether he'll ask you to accept. That's between you and Him. Thanks for your time.”

No reply has as yet been forthcoming, so God told me wrong. Maybe. If I get a reply, I'll update the article.