If it’s free, you’re the product

But you can still be the product if it’s not

People can be funny. Someone wrote to me on LinkedIn to request contact. So I gave him contact. He wants contact, he gets it. He describes himself as “Pitch Consultant - International Professional English - Pronunciation - Leadership Voice Training - Public Speaking” etc. People who know me may recall I was an officer in Toastmasters, I have “Best Speaker” awards and I have Leadership awards from them. They used to hang on my dining room wall, but I put them in the basement. Who cares, after all?

For ten years I did drama. I was good. My interpretation of Thomas More in A Man For All Seasons was seen by a Belgian producer, Pieter de Buysser, who gave me a paid role in a play he wrote and put on at the leading Flemish theatre in Brussels, the Kaaitheater. I know how to act. My best role ever was as Henry IV in an amalgamation of the two parts of the Shakespeare play, so it was simply called Henry IV. You can watch it here, if you care:

It was supernaturally acclaimed:

Anyhow, this LinkedIn chap wrote to me in the following terms:

Hello Graham. I help Speakers be more impactful in English and French thanks to speech therapy and theatrical improvisation techniques. Great to connect!

So, I wrote back to him, out of courtesy:

You can find out more about me at endlesschain.substack.com. Here’s an early post relevant to your area: https://endlesschain.substack.com/p/henry-ivs-guilt.

He replied:

Henry the fourth?

I had thought that his theatrical reference and my reference to an article about something theatrical would have been an obvious link. I didn’t want to teach my grandmother how to suck eggs, but I did anyway.

He was a king.

Then the chap was a bit rude:

Well duh

But why is it my field?

But why is it his field? This grandmother didn’t know how to suck eggs.

Stage craft is a theatrical technique. You said that theatrical technique was why it was great to connect. I just wanted to let you know that I know what theatrical technique is.

He replied:

I see.

He saw, and he didn’t conquer. LinkedIn is a social media website for the business community and they share their views and their discoveries and they pester people to buy their services. Well, they do. I don’t. I knew this fellow wanted to sell me something when he connected. I connect with people from whom I think I can learn, or who set an example I wish to follow. Who are inspirational and courteous and polite. Or funny. Some are funny. I’ve had people try to sell me crypto, and I’ve engaged at length to tell them why I think crypto is not suitable for me as an investment (I do stop short of describing it as a crock of s***). Or insurance. Or property investments in Victoria Water. I am patient and I always explain why I’m not interested. But I know that some LinkedIn members are keen to sell something.

This fellow was so wrapped up in his own sales pitch, he couldn’t even see from my responses that he’s trying to sell sand to the Arabs, or refrigerators to the Eskimos or coals to Newcastle. All he wanted was the sale, for me to beg him: tell me more, how can you help me become a wonderful person?

Some are out for the sale. They are salespeople. They’re like the waiters who welcome you to their establishment: “Hello, and welcome. How are we today? I’m Bob and I’ll be your waiter. Can I bring you a list of our aperitifs?” all with a broad smile, which instantly vanishes from their face as they turn back towards the kitchen. Professional, purposeful and insincere. Deliberately insincere. After all, who do the diners think they are: the guy’s flatmates? It’s the damned tip he’s after, not your eyes ogling his bum.

This evening, still wearing my uniform from the shop where I work, I popped into another supermarket to buy some things we don’t sell. I decided to buy a tomato. When I got to the check-out, I said to the lady, “Just the one tomato.” She weighed it and asked, “Why only one?” I said, “The others were all on stalks and I didn’t want to disturb them, they looked so nice.” She smiled. I said, “I’ll be back soon for another one, have no fear.” She smiled, and the man behind me smiled, and I smiled. She made the sale, and we had human contact for just a few seconds. Amusing and friendly.

A sale doesn’t have to be just a sale. It’s where two people connect and interact, against the background of a purchase. They say that if something is free, then you are the product. That may be true, but even if it’s not free, some people treat you as if you were the product as well.