Lost in translation, and that's before we start

Little did they think a register extract could give rise to some thinking. An A-G guide.

In the world of translation, we’re paid by word in the source document. But, get a load of this. (Just “this”; no aspersions.)

(a) Merger / demerger counts as three words.

Merger/demerger counts as one word.

The oblique (/) is a word, but not if there’s no space around it. However, neither of these is what you might expect: two words.

This is how agencies tell me how much they will pay me. I like French agencies - they use spaces. English agencies don’t. Hm.

Quite.

(b) KBO counts as one word (as would K.B.O.). No space, one word.

Kruispunt Bank der Ondernemingen counts as four words in the translation; but one word is paid. It’s a bit counter-intuitive, because it’s supposed to be a translation, not a regurgitation of the original.

If I put Crossroads Bank of the Undertakings, that counts as five words in the translation; still, only one is paid, but no one knows what Crossroads Bank of the Undertakings means.

I could put Crossroads Bank of Undertakings or Crossroads Bank for Undertakings, the official translation in a language that is not a language of the country where the institution is located but which lots of people there reckon they know better than people in countries where it is a language of that country; but no one has ever known what either of these official renderings means. (There are a lot of crossroads in Belgium, though roundabouts are making inroads, or is that “in” roads? And there are quite a few banks, but that could always change.)

If I put CBU, no one knows what that means, either.

But CBU is what I put; because CBU is what I get paid for.

(c) With respect to which …

Respect is what you have to things you want to talk about. No one who actually says they have has respect for anyone, with respect m’lud; talking about respect is not having respect. Because anyone who talks about respect is actually trying to be a bit disrespectful. People who are nice to me, either spontaneously or in return for my being nice to them, I doth shower with love and affection; those who command or demand respect from me I shower with a jolly good rollicking. Because, people who demand respect aren’t demanding respect, they’re demanding obedience and putting-up-withness of their rudeness to you, and that quite honestly isn’t on.

“Respect,” says Henry VIII, in A Man For All Seasons, “Man, that’s water in the desert.” People thirst for it, but aren’t prepared to dig the well to get it. Instead it’s drawn from wells that someone else dug or that they ordered to be dug, and Omar Sharif had something to say about that in Lawrence of Arabia, with a gun.

Lawrence of Arabia: Omar Sharif approaches with a gun.

A Man For All Seasons: Thomas More shows the King a little respect.

Andy Bell of Erasure sings “A Little Respect”. It’s the catch in his voice that does it for me.

In many ways I’m Konstantin Stanislavski (who he? Look him up); so, anyone who notices any contradiction between this and what I might have said before may ascribe it to my hardening maturity in advancing years, along with that of my arteries. You’ll be here too, one day.

(d) Then, what about this:

en un mot faire toutes opérations financières généralement quelconques. Last I counted, faire toutes opérations financières généralement quelconques is not one word. The spaces between the words are a clue. But I do get paid for six words, whoopee.

une signature électronique émise par le gestionnaire du registre de commerce et des sociétés. Electronic signatures are not issued by the people who use them. That is in fact the whole purpose of an electronic signature. Could someone just tell the Luxembourg RCC? The what? Guess. I had to.

Some directors are appointed in Luxembourg for:

Term of office: fixed-term

until the general meeting which takes place in the year (of which the official translation is until the year in which the general meeting takes place, but it’s a sworn translation, so I moved it around a bit, so that it would then be sworn, official and actually right) 2024

However, if term and until are fixed headings, when would the term ever be anything but fixed?

(f - we’ll leave it at “f”) “You think too much.”

“You don't think enough. If you thought more, I could think less.”

Don’t you think that looking down on someone and looking up to someone have entirely the opposite meanings to each other? Quite.

(G(raham)) It’s Sunday, time to relax.