There are three ways to rue.
The first is not to rue. “Out with the old, in with the new,” declares the director of the mental asylum in the 1978 Burt Reynolds/Dom DeLuise comedy The End. Indeed, Non, je ne regrette rien. That’s just the way it is … — er, no, not that one. That’s Bruce Hornsby pretty much regretting everything that no one else regrets. Lot of ruing there. But, there are those who can stride ever onward, and leave a trail of destruction and disaster behind them, and rue not one whit. Does that attract?
The second is to lift the shoulders, and sigh, a long, wistful, sigh; preferably in soft focus. Ah, well. What can we do about it? What indeed? Ya, ya. Zo, zo. Na, ja. Tja. Pfft. Whaw.
What’s on telly?
The third is to exclaim wildly: consternation, and tears, wailing and gnashing and tears, lots of keening tears. My GOODDD! And a large quantity of asterisks: ******************************************* and exclamation marks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Tintin strip cartoons: *@&!ZZZZ!
Haddock and Calculus; with chips. With and without p’s.
There’s a fourth, but I didn’t want to embarrass anyone, so, if you want, you can switch off now. Otherwise, yeah, there are four ways to rue.
The fourth is scrolling. Not Dead Sea Scrolling; not When the Red, Red Robin Comes Scroll, Scroll, Scrollin’ Along, Along, either. More, When the White, White Mouse Comes Scroll, Scroll, Scrollin’ Along.
Strictly, Netflix, news headlines, supper, bit of rumpy-pumpy, light out, zzzzzzzzz.
That kind of scrolling. Scrolling through the disasters and the destructions. Goose-grease covering us, so everything washes over nice ’n’ easy. Peasy. Lemon squeezy.
No one wails for whales in Wales.
No one’s frankly bothered in France for Anne Frank.
Germans’ germs may be germane to germinating, but Gerry’s gerrymandering never bothered Geronimo.
I could invent nonsense till cows returned to pasture, and it’d wash over us just the same as an evening’s scrolling through the news of our neighbours’ deaths.
When we democratically abrogate our rights to rule ourselves in favour of our nation states’ governments, professor, do we also abrogate our duty to care, or just the responsibility for making us rich?
Mr Keynes, tell me, does caring cost? What’s its ROI? Is that an investment I should make?
The End. It’s a black comedy.
