Sauce for the patriotic American
What makes patriotic Americans think we want them?
Michael Sellers, who describes himself as a patriotic American, has been around quite a few blocks quite a few times and has just put up an interesting post advising Americans how to get the hell out of there. Before they do, they should think about the epidemic of bedbugs in northern Europe and the fact that scabies is on the rise in Great Britain. But, thankfully, the largest nest of red ants in the world is unlikely to follow them to another continent from its home in most of Texas and Southern California.
When, after having invaded Ukraine in the February, Russia mobilised its population in September of 2022, I published an article. It concerned assumptions about Russia, in which I said assumptions are all we’ve got. When I look at the stats, I see it was sent to one person: me. And I note that 23 people have seen it so far. Blockbuster, eh?
Just to bring you up to speed, the mobilisation of Russians in September 2022 had two principal effects: a lot of Russians were conscripted into the army and returned home two weeks later in body bags, for one, and, for the other, huge swathes of Russians scarpered to other places, like Georgia, where they just started to be as obnoxious as they’d ever been at home.
Either you can hit the link above and go and read that article now, or, if that’s too much work, I’ll list the assumptions below. Here they are:
Assumption 1: all the good folk left Russia immediately after the invasion.
Assumption 2: all the Russians who stayed are ardent Putinists.
Assumption 2a: not all of them, some of them. We don’t know which, though. A majority: that’ll be it.
Assumption 3: no one in Ukraine profited from the invasion.
Assumption 4: no one in Russia suffered as a result of the invasion.
Assumption 5: every last Ukrainian who fled from the invasion was an innocent, hard-working member of the public.1
Assumption 6: all the Russians fleeing after the invasion were poor, oppressed people.
Assumption 7: none of the Russians fleeing now is a poor, oppressed person.
Assumption 8: if an ardent Putinist is prevented leaving Russia, he will strive to bring down Putin.
Assumption 9: those fleeing Russia now have changed their minds and are anti-Putin, and that’s why they’re leaving;er, no they’re not, they’re Putinists and will act as fifth-columnists in our countries;
er, no, they’re really good people and will bring down the Kremlin’s leadership,
er ... no, they’re lazy and we don’t want them,
er ... no, er ... they’re draft-dodgers and should be punished, but not by us, by someone else, whose draft they’re dodging,
er ...we don’t know. Go home, nasty Russian. And face thy destiny. Like a man. But not on a battlefield.
If we want them dead on the battlefield, would it not be easier just to shoot them as they queue up at border posts?
The difference between assumption 6 and assumption 7 is very important. Whether you are a good or a bad person depends not on whether you flee oppression but WHEN you flee that oppression. So, those who fled in September of 2022 were all bad Russians, whereas those who fled in February 2022 were good Russians. And the bad Russians who were fleeing in September, who were bad Russians because they support Putin, should have been told to return to Moscow and bring down the government. Putin’s government, you understand.
These are the kinds of assumptions that people were making about Russians at that time. A Russian’s physical location was enough to determine their malevolent or benevolent intentions. Well, if it works for Russians, and we know it works for Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Syrians, South Sudanese, Libyans and Rwandans, then surely it applies to Americans as well? Here’s what I wrote back to Michael (and my tongue is only lightly brushing my cheek).
I live in Europe. Europe is starting to welcome immigrants like, as the Scots comic Billy Connolly once put it, “a fart in a spacesuit.” Britain is stopping small boats and everywhere is repelling the huddled masses that once ventured to your own shores. So, what makes you think you’re so welcome here?
Oh, you mean that you’re the good Americans? The good ... what was the word? Oh, yes: “patriotic” Americans. What makes you think Europe needs patriotic Americans? It’s patriotic Americans that are threatening two of our allies and have slapped 10 per cent tariffs on our trading relationship with you. We don’t give a tinker’s cuss for patriotic anything except Europeans.
Ah, I see. You’re white. White patriotic Americans are okay? Especially if they say they’re okay? But how do we know you’re okay? What’s that? You have no rap sheet? Ah, that’s good. And you’ve never hijacked an airliner and flown it into a skyscraper? Yes, I see, very important, that.
Well, how about we let you in as guest workers for six months, maybe a year? You’ll need to learn our languages of course. And customs. And not think rugby balls are footballs. And call our national games football and not sackur. And stop eating Marshmallow Mateys. For God’s sake, and your own, stop eating junk food.
If you do all that, maybe you can assimilate. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll let you stay. Just for a while. Longer, if you give us the H-bomb.
Sauce for the goose, and all that ...
But what’ll we do with them when we start to defend ourselves against the country they come from? I think we’re gonna need a bigger internment camp.
And not a sex worker.