There’s a female friend of mine who’s mad keen on F1. EVERYTHING F1. For Christmas one year, I bought her models of the cars of every British driver that had ever won a Formula 1 championship. The look on her face that Christmas morning was a real treat.
The Minichamps Racing Model of Lewis Hamilton’s 2007 Vodaphone McLaren Mercedes MP4-22.
This weekend is the British Grand Prix at Silverstone, and the quali was on when I popped over Saturday. She explained why all the cars have flashing orange lights at the back. I wondered if they had broken down, but she said it’s something to do with them being hybrid.
“Hybrid?”I asked.
“Yes.”
“So,” I advanced, “Have they no gears?”
They have paddles, apparently. Like a Mississippi riverboat, I guess; but on the steering wheel, not the side wheels. I found this comical, but she didn’t.
“So, all the driver has to do is steer then?”
Oh, no, they have to do vastly more than that. Exactly what, I don’t know, but, between pitting and chicanery, it includes winning. All the while watching for a big black cloud over Milton Keynes: it seems that, if their bottoms get wet, they have to do a slick change; well, so would I, I reckon.
Of course, she loves The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, the tune that introduces all the Formula 1 broadcasts on the BBC. They only play the second half, of course, which has that fast, incessant, racy beat to it.
Well, if you’ve got a big, red GTO (as Sinitta’s boyfriend did back in the day) or love the Beach Boys’ Little Deuce Coupe, so do I, but I have to disappoint you, because today we’re headed for Nazareth and all points between here and there, with Mark Knopfler. If you don’t think this piece would make a good rival to Fleetwood Mac for the F1 programme, then, unlike moi, you’ve no racing blood in you at all. Pfft—hybrids …
Speedway at Nazareth
Written by Mark Knopfler
Performed by Mark Knopfler
From his 2000 album Sailing to Philadelphia