Temptation

To hear music, you need to turn on your radio.

photo: Simon Fowler.

I need to be quick, because I put the soup on “on a gentle heat”. What is “a gentle heat”? If you were sitting in the flame, you’d not be thinking it was a gentle heat. I put soup on a gentle heat on Sunday and Kurt came in half an hour later and I discovered I hadn’t lit the gas. That was all too gentle. No harm came to anyone, the kitchen was ventilated and everyone went OUTside for a cigarette. Gentle heat can be too gentle. And too hot for some. So, here’s some gentle heat. The Scottish muse was with me here.

I just drove out to a buddy in Waremme to have a very serious conflab and to tell him to forget everything I ever said to him, and he and I hugged afterwards and said, “Till the next time?” Fairly serious, yeah, but none of your bizz. But it pissed with rain and blew with wind the whole way there. There was still wind on the way back but the rain had stopped and the sun was shining as I returned down the E40 to Louvain.

Driving is funny. The windscreen wipers on my car, which is an open-top old-timer, have packed up, so, in the wind and the rain, I had to be careful. I put my safety belt on and tried to peer through the rain that collected on the windscreen. Then I realised that all I needed to do was follow the other traffic, but maintain a very safe distance. The other traffic knew where it was going and all I needed to do was to follow them. They took the lead, but they also sprayed water up on my car. That’s the way it is: the people you follow sometimes obscure your view but, in the end, they show you the way; otherwise, you wouldn’t be following them.

Recently I related a story about how I’d got into conversation with some people in the queue at Aldi. I met them, I encountered them, I got chatting with them and then we went our separate ways. I may never see them again in this life, but we had an encounter and we left each other smiling, laughing, joking and, I think, with us all in a good mood. Motorways are pretty much the same, even when, on the odd occasion, the traffic isn’t at a standstill.

Two summers ago, I travelled to the South of France to stay with some friends down near the city of Toulouse and, so unorganised was I on the day of my departure that it was 6 p.m. before I got underway. After dark fell, I decided to press on until I would be tired enough that I thought it was probably better to stop at a wayside lay-by for a few hours of kip. At that time of night, the Swedish tourists had thinned out and there was pretty much just me and my open-top Jeep and the lorry drivers who were carrying the fresh produce of Europe across the continent for purchase and consumption the next day in France’s supermarkets. They do a lot of driving, these knights of the road; but, I guess they don’t see too many open-top Jeeps, and many were the waves and the flashes of lights and the cheery greetings that I got as I wended my way down from Belgium through France to the Pyrenees.

And so it was today, as well. I met a lot of people on the road from Louvain to Waremme. I never stopped and spoke to them but I looked at the people who passed me and the lorry drivers doing their professional job in a highly competent way as they, like those in France, brought produce and products from one place to another. One van that passed me was from a kaasraffinaderij. I didn’t know that they existed. I’d never heard of them. It said that their business is to ripen cheese to perfection; I thought that was interesting. I learned something today about cheese-making – that there are companies that do nothing but ripen the cheese. It’s their specialty.

There were also private citizens: women in big cars, men in little cars, men in big cars, women in little cars – the whole panoply. Those who had an interest would occasionally glance as they zoomed past me, interested to see a relatively unusual vehicle on the road and, whatever road I have travelled in my life, I think I can fairly say that I’ve generally been regarded as an unusual vehicle. Jesus said, “If you have eyes to see, then see; if you have ears to hear, then hear” and, elsewhere, I’ve written about what I think that this means. I once asked a medium whether God speaks to us through the radio or iTunes or Spotify, and he said that he thought He did but, in any case, it couldn’t be ruled out because, if you have ears to hear, then we can hear a lot if we turn on the radio.

On my return from this serious conversation with my very dear friend in Waremme, I made a slip as I left his house: I said “I will take my adieu” and he corrected me; he said “No, au revoir,” and I laughed and said, “Well, we shall meet again at both of those.” We hugged and I left.

Once I was out onto the main road I hit the button on my car iPod player and a number of songs came in a row and, while it’s difficult to see that every last word of every last significant or poignant song that you hear on the radio is deep in meaning, you are in that somewhat constrained by the fancy of the lyricist. Nonetheless, occasionally, my ears would pick up at some of the lyrics that were emitted by the radio as I drove back to Louvain. You can listen to them here. I enclose the links to the YouTube files that contain these songs in the versions that I heard, bar one: one song is by a Scottish group from Glasgow, Clydebank in fact, whose lead singer, Marti Pellow, was at school with a friend of mine who’s a hairdresser in London, though we haven’t been in touch for a while. It’s a song called Temptation and that is a poignant song to me because, when neighbours and friends used to gather around the piano at Christmas to sing carols, my father would have one too many whiskies and start crying out, “I want temptation!”, to which my mother would admonish him with, “Oh, now, Ron!” Happy memories of Christmas mornings at Johnsons’.

In the final stanza of Marti Pellow’s album version of Temptation, he sings “Don’t waste my fuckin’ spirit.” The first time I heard that after buying the album, I turned my head to the record player and voiced “Your what?!!” upon which Pellow repeated “My spirit,” as if he realised his boo-boo. It wasn’t no boo-boo, it was his soul. Popped In, Souled Out. At the start of that track, he sings, “Angels … myself (or thyself)”. The line precedes the official lyric and is nowhere to be found on lyric websites. But I can’t make out what it is that he sings. If anyone can make it out, let me know, please.

Does iTunes always speak to us? Does it speak to you? Does it even speak to me, do I delude myself? Even though I may do, it’s not important whether it does or it doesn’t. What’s important is whether I think it does. But, does that mean that I can never listen to the radio but God is yattering away in my ears, the whole time? No, not that either. How do I know?

I asked Him when this message will be finished. When they used to send telegrams, you knew that the message was finished because you got the word “STOP”; and God sent the word STOP in the form of Andy Williams singing Music To Watch Girls By. I smiled. Yes, that’s God’s way to send a telegram “stop” to a gay man. One song followed the stop, however, and that was Pellow’s Temptation. I was going to lie to you and pretend it came before the stop. But I think it could have been a PS. In all events, it ended as I drove on to my own driveway. End of journey.

Below are the lyrics to the songs that I’ve linked. Take a look at them and tell me whether God was trying to say something to me today. He may try and say something to you one day. Keep your radios tuned. And, one more thing for the resolutely sceptical: if God isn’t omniscient, how come He knows the lyrics to 26,700 tunes on my iPod?

There are no titles given below where I reproduce the lyrics – the Dutch and German are translated and the originals are at the foot; American spelling retained where appropriate; repeated lines are left as is. A word of caution: the “I” and “you” in the lyrics might not necessarily be the singer and his girlfriend. The lyrics are given without title separators. I think it’s meant to be all one message.

You’ll probably know by now: the soup is burnt; and it’s all the better for it.

Header image: Mark McLachlan of Clydebank High School and Marti Pellow of Wet, Wet, Wet (they’re the same). My Aunt Bette had a budgie called Marty, and that’s the closest I ever got to Marti, but hair stylist Tim Davidson knew him when he was a Marked boy. It’s no easy to be a musician in Clydebank if your father was a builder. A common description of Mr Pellow in Glasgow at the time was the word he inadvertently inserted into his rendition of Temptation on the album, as referenced above, followed by the word “vision”.

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) by Vonda Shepard

My Destination by Boston

Afscheid Nemen Bestaat Niet by Marco Borsato

The Logical Song by Supertramp

Einmal kommt das Leben by Münchener Freiheit

Underneath Your Beautiful by Labrinth and Emeli Sandé

Music To Watch Girls By by Andy Williams – (“bye bye?”)

Temptation by Wet Wet Wet

Starry, starry night

Paint your palette blue and gray

Look out on a summer’s day

With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills

Sketch the trees and the daffodils

Catch the breeze and the winter chills

In colors on the snowy, linen land

Now, I understand what you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for your sanity

And how you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they did not know how

Perhaps they’ll listen now

Starry, starry night

Flaming flowers that brightly blaze

Swirling clouds in violet haze

Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue

Colors changing hue

Morning fields of amber grain

Weathered faces lined in pain

Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand

Now, I understand, what you tried to say to me

How you suffered for your sanity

How you tried to set them free

They would not listen, they did not know how

Perhaps they’ll listen now

For they could not love you

But still your love was true

And when no hope was left inside

On that starry, starry night

You took your life as lovers often do

But I could have told you, Vincent

This world was never meant for one

As beautiful as you

And

Feeling the way I do

Wouldn’t last a mile without you

When I’m losing the way, the things that you say

Take me there

My destination

My destination

Is by your side

Right by your side

And I

I’ve taken so long, I know

Never had so far to go

It’s not where you can be, it’s what you can see

That takes you there

Your destination

Your destination

It’s here inside, right here inside

There’s no such thing as farewell

I’ll leave but leave you not

Love, you must believe me

Even if it hurts

I want that you let me go

And that you continue tomorrow

But if you’re lonely or afeared

I will be there

Come like the wind you feel and the rain

Follow what your way like the light of the moon

Look for me in all and you’ll find me

Whisper my name and I’m on my way

See what cannot be seen

What you believe is true

Just open your eyes

And then I’ll be with you

All you need do

Is to take me at my word

There’s no such thing as farewell

Come like the wind you feel and the rain

Follow your way like the light of the moon

Look for me in all and you’ll find me

Whisper my name and I’m on my way

Behold the sky, behold the sea

Wherever you walk, I will with you be

Each step and each moment

Wherever you are

Whatever you do, wherever you go

Whenever you need me, just whisper my name

And I’m on my way

There’s no such thing as farewell

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful

A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical

And all the birds in the trees, well, they’d be singing so happily

Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me

But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible

Logical, oh, responsible, practical

And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable

Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world’s asleep

The questions run too deep

For such a simple man

Won’t you please, please tell me what we’ve learned?

I know it sounds absurd

Please tell me who I am

I said, watch what you say or they’ll be calling you a radical

A liberal, oh, fanatical, criminal

Oh, won’t you sign up your name? We’d like to feel you’re acceptable

Respectable, oh, presentable, a vegetable

Oh, take, take, take it, yeah

But at night, when all the world’s asleep

The questions run so deep

For such a simple man

Won’t you please (Won’t you tell me)

Please tell me what we’ve learned?

(Can you hear me?) I know it sounds absurd

(Won’t you help me?) But please, tell me who I am

Who I am

Who I am

Who I am

Yeah

Oh

Ooh

Hey

‘Cause I was feeling so illogical

D-d-d-d-d-d-digital

Yeah, one, two, three, five

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Ooh, it’s getting unbelievable

Yeah

B-b-bloody marvelous

What can I do today

That will keep its meaning until tomorrow

The more I think

I have doubts if I like it

I can tell myself a thousand times

A new life begins tomorrow

I have to dare today

Because otherwise I’ll wait a lifetime

The sky won’t be brighter tomorrow

How long will the world keep turning?

The time has come to understand that

Once life comes and says “yes” to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Without tomorrow and, as in the game,

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

Once life comes and says “yes” to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Always a new goal

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

I never want to lose you

I just want to float in time

I want to kidnap you today

No distance is too far for both of us

The sky won’t be brighter tomorrow

How long will the world keep turning?

The time has come to understand that

Once life comes and says yes to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Without tomorrow and, as in the game,

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

Once life comes and says yes to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Always a new goal

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

Once life comes and says “yes” to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Without tomorrow and, as in the game,

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

Once life comes and says yes to you

Once the opportunity to escape from here

Always a new goal

Experience everything new, it’s never too much

Once life comes and says yes to you

One chance to escape from here...

You tell all the boys “no”

Makes you feel good, yeah

I know you’re out of my league

But that won’t scare me away, oh no

You’ve carried on so long

You couldn’t stop if you tried it

You’ve built your wall so high

That no one could climb it

But I’m gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, take it off now girl

I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

You let all the girls go

Makes you feel good, don’t it?

Behind your Broadway show

I heard a boy say, “Please don’t hurt me”

You’ve carried on so long

You couldn’t stop if you tried it

You’ve built your wall so high

That no one could climb it

But I’m gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now boy, take it off now, boy

I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

Ohhh, tonight

See beneath, see beneath

I...tonight

I...

I’m gonna climb on top your ivory tower

I’ll hold your hand and then we’ll jump right out

We’ll be falling, falling

But that’s okay

‘Cause I’ll be right here

I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now girl, take it off now girl

‘Cause I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

Oooh, oooh, ooh

Tonight, see beneath your beautiful

Oh tonight, we ain’t perfect, we ain’t perfect

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

The boys watch the girls while the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by

Eye to eye, they solemnly convene to make the scene

Which is the name of the game, watch a guy watch a dame on any street in town

Up and down and over and across, romance is boss

Guys talk “girl talk”, it happens everywhere

Eyes watch girls walk with tender lovin’ care

It’s keepin’ track of the pack watching them watching back

That makes the world go ‘round

“What’s that sound?” each time you hear a loud collective sigh

They’re making music to watch girls by

Guys talk “girl talk”, it happens everywhere

Eyes watch girls walk with tender lovin’ care

It’s keepin’ track of the pack watching them watching back

That makes the world go ‘round

“What’s that sound?” each time you hear a loud collective sigh

They’re making music to watch girls by

The boys watch the girls while the girls watch the boys who watch the girls go by

Eye to eye, they solemnly convene to make the scene

La, la, la, la

Angels ???

When the big guns start to shooting

With the bullets of deception

With a smile upon your face

You’re going from second-hand to almost new

Well, I try to live life eye to eye

But I say I find it far too tall, tall, tall, tall, tall

Show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me (give me), you give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme temptation

Show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me (give me), you give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme temptation, baby

Sing along, sing along baby

Sing along for the love of the children

And if this was to be true

Say, I’d give all the tea in China

And, maybe, all the tulips

In Amsterdam, yeah.

Well I try to live life eye to eye

But I say I find it far too tall, tall, tall, tall, tall

Show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me (give me), you give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme temptation

Show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me (give me), you give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme temptation

Sing along, baby, for the love of the chil:dren

First you make me move

Until I’m so damn close

Take me back again, take me back again

Well, say, I’m mighty thankful

But it’s much too easy, doing God’s job

Paying dues and learning vices

But no, but no, but oh no

You won’t waste my *angry* spirit

My spirit.

Oh, show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me (give me), you give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme temptation

Show me one more sign

Give me one more time

Cos you give me, give me

You gimme, gimme, gimme

Dutch version of There’s no such thing as farewell

Afscheid nemen bestaat niet

Ik ga wel weg maar verlaat je niet

Lief, je moet me geloven

Al doet het pijn

Ik wil dat je me los laat

En dat je morgen weer verder gaat

Maar als je eenzaam of bang bent

Zal ik er zijn

Kom als de wind die je voelt en de regen

Volg wat je doet als het licht van de maan

Zoek me in alles dan kom je me tegen

Fluister mijn naam, en ik kom eraan

Zie, wat onzichtbaar is

Wat je gelooft is waar

Open je ogen maar

En, dan zal ik bij je zijn

Alles wat jij moet doen

Is mij op m’n woord geloven

Afscheid nemen bestaat niet

Kom als de wind die je voelt en de regen

Volg wat je doet als het licht van de maan

Zoek me in alles dan kom je me tegen

Fluister mijn naam, en ik kom eraan

Kijk in de lucht, kijk naar de zee

Waar je ook zult lopen ja, ik loop met je mee

Iedere stap en ieder moment

Waar je dan ook bent

Wat je ook doet, waar je ook gaat

Wanneer je me nodig hebt, fluister gewoon mijn naam

En ik kom eraan

Afscheid nemen bestaat niet

German version of What can I do today

Was kann ich heute tun

Das bis morgen seinen Sinn behält

Je mehr ich überlege

Hab ich Zweifel, ob es mir gefällt

Ich kann mir tausendmal sagen

Morgen fängt ein neues Leben an

Ich muss es heute wagen

Denn sonst warte ich ein Leben lang

Der Himmel wird morgen nicht heller sein

Wie lang wird die Welt sich noch drehen

Die Zeit ist reif, das zu verstehen

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Ohne morgen und wie im Spiel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Immer wieder ein neues Ziel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Ich will dich nie verlieren

Ich will einfach treiben in der Zeit

Ich will dich heut entführen

Für uns beide ist kein Weg zu weit

Der Himmel wird morgen nicht heller sein

Wie lang wird die Welt sich noch drehen

Die Zeit ist reif, das zu verstehen

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Ohne morgen und wie im Spiel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Immer wieder ein neues Ziel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Ohne morgen und wie im Spiel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier

Immer wieder ein neues Ziel

Alles neu erleben, es ist nie zu viel

Einmal kommt das Leben und sagt ja zu dir

Einmal die Gelegenheit zu fliehen von hier...