Turning without forward and reverse gears.

No matter how many points it has, a turn is always three-point.

Even if you take five, it’s still a three-point turn.

Armen was my best customer a couple of years ago. He lives in a Dutch-speaking area and was wanting to take his driving test; his command of Dutch was not fantastic, so he preferred to have a Dutch-English translator sitting in to help him understand what was being said to him (but not to help the examiners, not particularly – they generally speak okay English, although one did upbraid me – in front of my client (behind him, actually, we were on the back seat) for translating “alvorens op de openbare weg te gaan rijden” as “before proceeding to do some driving on the public highway”, which was met with a guffaw and a correction from the examiner, who was not just an expert in driving skills but also in mistranslating his language into mine. Not a highway, he generously commented, but a public road. He thinks a highway is a motorway. I refrained from referring him to our Highway Code.)

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Image: Khor Virap church is dwarfed by the mighty Mount Ararat. These are high and very high altitudes.

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The reason Armen became such a good client was his enthusiasm, which on two occasions impelled him to cast as raiment any concern about passing a traffic signal at red. As Wilde’s Lady Bracknell might have put it, “To fail one test for passing a red traffic light, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as unfortunate; to fail two looks like carelessness.” Indeed. But, nothing daunted, Armen was always quick to scour the available appointments to see where he can next try his luck: his employer was dangling a brand new Mini Cooper before his very avid eyes.

He’d learned to drive in his own home country and, I won’t say it showed, but I get an inkling that failing five times was one way it could have shown, were showing of the home country’s lack of automotive acumen needed.

On the second occasion, the test clerk challenged me for being a translator, of all things. “Surely it is an interpreter that is needed?”

I replied, “Both, no less. The test starts with questions that are written on screen in the computer centre. That text requires to be translated. We then proceed to the practical, on-road test, on the Highway, no less, and those instructions are oral and need to be interpreted. Since the car comfortably holds only four large-bodied adults (examiner, translator, test candidate and sitting-in driver), might I suggest that, on this occasion, the translator double-up and do the interpreting as well, since it will like as not be sequential, not whispered and very unlikely simultaneous. Wouldn’t want to turn left instead of right, would we?”

“That’s fine.” I never needed to show my credentials again after that.

On one occasion Armen even picked me up at home and I travelled with him to Sint-Niklaas, which is a good hour away, especially in heavy traffic, where we were greeted by the somewhat galling news that his appointment had been for an hour earlier.

However, over a total of three hours’ return trip to Sint-Niklaas in the good company of my best client, and carefree chit-chat along the way, I plucked up the temerity to pose him a question: could he explain to me what the issue was with Nagorno Karabakh? And, the first issue, he kindly said to me, is that it’s not called Nagorno Karabakh, but Leṙnayin Ġarabaġ. I’d lived long enough in Belgium to know the significance of a change of name into another language, and with that Armen had told me where he stands on the issue, although, to be fair, I expected he would stand where all his countrymen stand on that issue, for he is Armenian.

Nagorno in fact means simply “highlands”, the area being at an altitude of around 5,000 feet, or 1,500 metres. In fact, the term high altitude starts at the figure of 1,500 metres and ends at 3,500 metres, which is where very high altitude starts; so those not accustomed to the area would perhaps have difficulty breathing, even if their breath had not already been taken away by what is, essentially, a sortie raid by Azerbaijan on the “Republic of Artsakh”, Armenia’s protector having been otherwise primarily engaged in another conflict zone at the time, that of course being the Russian Federation.

That little fact was, for me, the first “take two” moment in this. If Russia is the bogeyman in Ukraine, has it got a helpful and protective role to play as far as Armenia is concerned? For, if so, then all cannot surely be bad with Mr Putin?

Well, not bad, but how helpful is, in fact, a protector who quietly forgets they’re there to protect you? A couple of Russian peacekeepers got caught in this recent crossfire, and Azerbaijan meekly apologised to Russia, which made no great problem of the fact. Spilled milk sort-of stuff. It’s all a juxtaposition that feels as things should be, and at the same time as nothing like normal. Perhaps normal is never as things should be: here we have a large regional power, and it does indeed wield quite some power, grabbing its chance (while the babysitter’s having a doze – dreaming of victory in Ukraine) to retake disputed territory that, when one sees its location as an utter enclave bar a corridor that leads from Armenia to it, that which it seems very alike, to otherwise uninured eyes, is that Azerbaijan has repossessed that which is in it, that which it is around, and that which, ostensibly, belongs to it, part and parcel.

Except, Armenia is no ordinary parcel. Here’s a poem I wrote about Armenia in 2020.

Hayk

As Hayk was it born and its sons, they are known,

From a crown bearing thorns has it stridently grown,

In times never certain, and no promised tomorrow,

It bravely survives, weeping dry tears of sorrow.

Ill winds, ’cross its plains have they blown,

And battered its pride, but vainglory’s n’er shown:

It carries its pain with upright humility,

Its wounds it shows not to all of humanity,

But bless’d let it be by a world in absentia,

Which spares but few thoughts for poor Armenia.

If the west eschews Russian language as it does when it switched Kiev to Kyiv, we should in any case call the Nagorno Karabakh Lernayin Garabag (diacritics out).

And, if there is such a thing as being in the wrong place at the wrong time, then Lernayin Garabag has frequently been a wrong place. And, if there was a wrong time to be there, it’s hard to find a moment that was propitious in the past century and more.

Lernayin Garabag, I cannot judge on. I know too little about the ins and outs. I know it’s large, 4,000 square kilometres; but many parts are uninhabited. It is a disputed territory that, no doubt, Armenia will continue to dispute. Whether Armenia would be well advised simply to accept its loss and devote its energies to more productive matters, then I’d need to examine: what other matters? For Armenia has been raped, extinguished, annihilated, neglected, misjudged, misappropriated, misaligned and perhaps even mistaken across the swath of history. For Armenia now to hold fast to principle and say, however compliant and uncomplaining they were in the past, and how meekly they have absorbed the ills wrought upon them, there is no question but that Armenia has the spirit and it has the will, even if it hasn’t the means, to stand and be counted and to proclaim: yes, we have been wronged again; yes, we have suffered loss. And whether that is justified, it is, at its very least, one thing that cannot be taken from Armenia: it is understandable. If you cannot muster understanding for Armenia, then, verily, you must be utterly devoid of compassion.

There is no tract of land that it is as easily dispossessed of for yourself as a tract of land that belongs to another. And land belongs to those who wield power. Is it not facile that positive prescription is a doctrine of our laws that deems the creation of rights over heritage by simple long-term occupancy. And they count for nothing when countered by military force, be it long, or short in term.

Is Armenia and its enclave of Lernayin Garabag, or Nagorno Karabakh, another ennui of merely local interest in our ever-embattled world? Is that what Ukraine has become? A bother? They can whip up support, but they can’t win?

Tonight, I spare a thought for Lernayin Garabag, and for Ukraine, and for Russia, the archenemy of some, the treaty protector of others. And, finally, for Armenia. I spare a few thoughts for Armenia.

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There are two postscripts, for what they’re worth. First, an article I wrote almost a year ago, for which I chose a picture of Nagorno Karabakh as an illustration:

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And, second, the Graham Vincent Road Craft Test, which I also sent to Armen, bless him. What a joy it was the day he passed.

THE GRAHAM VINCENT ROAD CRAFT TEST

FOR AFTER THE TEST, OR BEFORE

QUESTION 1. When reversing, where should you look?

a. Turn the head and look through the rear window (if there is one).

b. In the wing mirrors.

c. At the light indicator of the parking assistance.

d. Listen to the parking assistance bleeping.

e. Get out of the car and go and estimate the available distance with the eye from close up.

f. In the rear view mirror.

Parking assistance is precisely that – “assistance”. It is a guide but it can be wrong. It usually acts by sensing the proximity of surrounding objects from radar beacons placed in the bumper. It is useful, but it is fallible (I used it on my Jeep Grand Cherokee when parking in a basement garage – and in the darkness hit an overhead, low-hanging concrete beam). A child dashing behind the car wouldn’t be picked up before it could be too late to stop for him. It is best used for backing up close to a known object, in a secure area, whilst the driver ensures the surrounding area is also clear of danger. But it is an aid, not a dictator.

Wing mirrors are used extensively for backing up by lorries and vans, since they have no rear-view mirror sometimes. They will try to get a mate to give hand signals to guide them in awkward situations, including where reversing in or from off the roadway. If you have a passenger, ask them to step out and give signals in an awkward situation and provided it’s safe for them to do so. They should never stand behind the reversing vehicle, but to its side. They may gesture to other road users to slow or stop and, if those road users indicate a willingness to do that, thanks should be given: courtesy breeds courtesy. However, your passengers have no power, and it could be dangerous for them, to force a vehicle to stop: that is a breach of the law. When using wing mirrors and if the trajectory to be reversed is straight, fix a point in the mirror that is behind your vehicle and try to maintain it on that parallax. Mates should endeavour to ensure that they can be seen at all times in the driver’s mirror.

Before reversing, check both wing mirrors and the rear view mirror, then shift in your seat to a “one-buttock” posture to ease looking over your shoulder through the back window. You must keep both hands on the wheel, however, so do not turn too far. It can be helpful even to raise the driver’s seat, if that will help you gain a better overview. Keep an eye on the wing that is to the outside of the second phase of the turn – it will project beyond the wheel that is effecting the turn and swing in an arc as you switch that wheel from the near side to the off-side. Many fail in parallel parking because they don’t know their vehicle – cannot judge the distance between car and object. So, in practice, learn what forms or shapes on the coachwork correspond to what distances that the outside edge of the coachwork is from a potential obstruction (like fairings, the gap between bonnet and other coachwork, headlight hoods, etc.). In narrower streets or busy traffic, wait for a gap in the traffic to start manoeuvring – do not swing your offside wing (or nearside, if you’re parking on the wrong side of the road) out into passing traffic – always safety first.

I have often tried to reverse the lazy way, just craning, and I never get the car properly positioned that way. After repeated attempts, I then finally shift my posture to “one-buttock”, and it works first time. If the distance is very tight (someone once told me you need a space “the length of the car plus 6 inches (15 cm)” to parallel park, and it can be done, and with practice will be – it’s a skill that’s needed in some urban locations) you may not complete the parking manoeuvre in a “oner” (or two, with the “straighten-up” after parking), but find that it requires a lot of constant back-forth-back movement (I’ve parked with 10 or 12 such moves before, so it can be done). Mate’s hand signals should only be given by holding the arms clearly stretched out to indicate his estimate of the available space (+ safety margin, in case you slip off the clutch). As the space closes, he closes his arms, till within a reasonable space of the obstruction; he then closes and claps his hands to indicate “that’s it”, or may tap on the bodywork as an audible signal to stop. Don’t forget that the guy behind you may need to get out from his space as well and courtesy demands that, as far as possible, you leave good space for him to do so. If you park with a car behind you and a fixed obstruction in front of you and you have available space, allow some room between you and the fixed obstruction to allow you to leave again, should someone be less considerate to you in the meantime. When locking up, check around the car for hazards – dog poo, puddles, mud or a low bollard – if you return in the dark or are otherwise occupied, you may drive off into a bollard that is not visible from the driver’s seat. That’s bad, but dog poo is really bad.

With very fine clutch control, you can – after the test – “nudge” another car, if the space is too tight; that means edging up to the bumper and slowly nudging it forward. The contact may not be any form of “stop”, however. “Nudge” is where you establish contact slowly and then ease the vehicle slightly, but not so as to actually change its position. In fact, it’s part of why bumpers are there. A “stop” is bad show, and leaving any damage is a no-no.

You should also remove your seatbelt to reverse. Seatbelts are there to prevent you being projected through the front windscreen when colliding as you drive in a forward gear. Their use in a rear or side collision is minimal. As long as you have engaged reverse gear, you may remove the seat belt to facilitate reversing, and then reattach it to engage forward gear. In a “to-fro-to-fro” parallel parking situation, the forward collision risk is so minimal, just keep it off till you switch the engine off.

Just as you look in the mirror occasionally when driving, you must turn your head forwards and to the sides occasionally when reversing.

QUESTION 2. When reversing while towing a trailer or caravan, turning the steering wheel to the right will cause the trailer to:

a. Swing to the left.

b. Swing to the right.

c. Stay on the same trajectory as it is on before moving the steering wheel.

Answer (c) cannot be correct. The only way to back a trailer up straight on a normal road surface is to be straight and not move the steering wheel at all. Even then, direct backward reversing with a trailer is an extremely high-level skill. Next time you swear at a lorry holding up traffic to reverse, think about that.

When a car with no trailer reverses, turning the steering wheel to the right will swing the car’s rear to your right, and that instils in drivers an intuitive response. We see the car’s front and rear wheels as forming arcs and the direction of reversed travel as being the continuation of that arc. But when you add a trailer, turning the car’s wheels to your right will turn the tail of the trailer to the LEFT (this is entirely geometrically logical, since it is the direction of travel of the rear of the car that is now determining the direction of turn for the trailer and, if you, say, nose a cart in front of a car that is angled to your right, pushing it will project it further to the right. Likewise, with turning the wheel to your right, your car’s tendency is to turn to your right, which is its own left when viewed backwards, which places the trailer to its own right, and so the trailer will project, again, to the rear of the car’s backward right, which is your own LEFT.

Reversing a trailer needs you to get out of the car and estimate the available space as it is near impossible to gauge it without stopping and checking frequently, or otherwise using a mate.

The parking assistance is of zero use – it will bleep constantly because of the proximity of the trailer, and the turn should be much slighter than you would think, because the coupling will double the effect of turning the wheel (just as a pulley doubles the time for raising a weight, even though it halves the effort needed to do so (work = effort x time)). You can therefore easily get into a jack-knife position, from which there is no rescue but to straighten the rig up again and start from the beginning. Jack-knife is where the trailer’s angle to the rear of the car is small enough that the car’s turning circle is unable to rectify that angle, which then only gets worse, regardless of what the driver does (he ends up at best “chasing his own tail”). Proceeding will place great strain on the coupling and could even uncouple the trailer.

QUESTION 3. Aquaplaning is

a. Where the car takes on the characteristics of a boat.

b. Where the car takes on the characteristics of an aircraft.

c. Where the car spins.

d. Where the car moves laterally.

e. Where the car ends up on its roof.

f. Where the car skids.

Aquaplaning is caused by water – unsurprisingly – and is a terrifying phenomenon, because it relies on relatively high speed to bring it about, and once it has been brought about, the opportunities to reduce speed safely are very limited. In heavy rain or floodwater, the car enters a patch of water on the road whose surface tension combined with the speed of the wheels has the effect of raising the vehicle off the road surface, so that you drive instead on water – you become a boat. The only way out of this is to steer. Braking will send you into a spin and could be lethal, rolling the car. Release the accelerator gently to reduce the wheel speed and thus allow the car to break the water tension, and counter the car’s sidewards moves with contrary wheel turns, but never violently, keep a firm grip on the steering wheel and follow instincts – if you’re shifted left, steer right, if right, steer left, but try as best you can to avoid moving the steering wheel at all. Braking will possibly change the aquaplaning into a skid and steering “into the skid” (i.e. back end slews to the right, steer to the right) will tend to correct the skid. If you steer away from the skid, you risk rolling the vehicle.

Lateral movement (“drifting”) is a trick for the experts only.

A spin is where the car turns laterally on its central vertical axis.

Skidding is where the car slews from its direction of travel, but broadly remains on the trajectory – at least until the crash.

Aquaplaning became much rarer in recent years due to developments in tyre technology, but changes in weather patterns are giving us ever more heavy rainstorms and, so, the phenomenon is starting to become more common, despite advanced technology. EPS and computerised systems help to keep things on an even keel, but nothing beats driver prudence. In heavy rain, anticipate aquaplaning by reducing speed and paying attention to pools of water on the road.

I aquaplaned while crossing a bridge recently and quickly brought the car back under control, but it raised my pulse considerably. My passenger did not say one word but, at the end of the ride, got out and simply said, “You dealt with that aquaplaning very well.” It is a very stressful situation for the driver and it does not help at all if passengers start screaming and wailing and complaining. The driver has quite enough on their hands at that moment. Keeping their driver concentrated and relaxed is a major contribution passengers can make to their own safety.

QUESTION 4. When turning against oncoming traffic, such as at a road junction where oncoming traffic is also turning against its own oncoming traffic:

a. Cars should “pass and turn”, effecting their turn behind the oncoming turning car.

b. Cars should turn in front of each other.

c. It depends.

There is no hard and fast rule here, so, it depends. But, what does it depend on?

Careful road planners will, where space allows, indicate lanes with white lines where cars wishing to turn should position themselves and this will, all things being equal, be done after careful analysis of traffic patterns and visibility and numerous other factors. Drivers should adhere to these line indications. But, where there are none, they must use their intuition. Look at the other oncoming turning traffic to gauge how they are behaving in the situation. It can be that you are new to this junction, but others turn here regularly and, strange to relate, there can build up a “local custom” among nearby residents that treat a certain junction one way, while treating other junctions another way, so fall into line with what they seem to be doing.

Passing and turning is advantageous if it gives both vehicles a clear view of the road ahead. However, if there is a line of cars turning in one or the other direction, this will block the oncoming turners and contribute to congestion. Some in the line who are conscious of this, may leave you an “escape gap”, which may be taken advantage of, if the courteous driver gives a clear indication of his intentions. It requires split-second judgment, because his line may move and he may suddenly reclaim his space, whilst you are deciding what he had intended. Besides which, other vehicles may approach on his nearside which are obstructed from view by him, including bikes or scooters, and so you must be absolutely sure that it is safe to accept his courteous offer. The rule is always this: if you cannot see, you stay put. No see = no go. Ever. Whenever I extend courtesy in this way to oncoming drivers, I always check my nearside mirror for approaching bikes etc. If I see one coming, I will make a clear sign that I am looking in the wing mirror, and hold up a “stop” hand to the other driver, to indicate that I can see a hazard that they perhaps cannot.

In such situations, keep the car in first gear, feet on footbrake and clutch, so you can move smartly when it is safe to do so.

QUESTION 5. While turning at a road junction, it is best, where possible:

a. To turn the steering wheel so that the wheels are angled ready to move into the road you intend to move onto.

b. To keep the wheels in alignment with the car’s coachwork.

The answer is partly dependent on whether the junction’s width allows for the vehicle already to turn on the trajectory of the intended new direction, or whether the vehicle remains in its initial trajectory until the turn is embarked on and completed in the new road. If the former is the case, (b) will apply in any case, though in that case any danger is mitigated by your already having turned the vehicle, since the risk of a read-end shunt is low – any other driver hitting you has to at least have turned partly onto your following path to be able to strike you; in the latter case, however, I recommend (b), though some prefer (a), since there is less turning of the wheel to do when the final part of the manoeuvre is embarked on. I learned (b) while in Los Angeles, a city known for its “fender bender” rear-end collisions. If you are rammed from behind by another vehicle, keeping the wheels straight will at least mitigate the car’s tendency to be projected into the path of oncoming vehicles. They do it in Los Angeles, because the danger is all too present there, so it’s a handy leaf to take out of another’s book.

QUESTION 6. When stopped in a line of traffic you should:

a. Apply the handbrake.

b. Apply the footbrake and put the car in neutral gear.

c. Apply no brake and put the car in neutral gear.

Contrary to the advice when waiting for a “smart departure” at lights or when turning, in standing traffic you should, where reasonable, apply the handbrake. This reduces glare from brake lights in the eyes of following drivers and reduces the risk of whiplash: the kinetic energy released in a collision is constant – the only question is: where does it go? If you are rammed from behind and your foot is on the footbrake, your car will move forward and hence you will be thrown backward, the collision will raise your foot from the brake and you will absorb more of the crash than you would have done if you were firmer on your ground, and your neck will be jerked backwards, resulting in whiplash. With the handbrake on, you are far more stable, and the whiplash will be less, with the energy being absorbed by the crashing car’s crumple zones and its driver’s seat belt, along with compensation from his airbag. You will not save your car or his car, but you may save yourself having to wear a neck brace for the rest of your life.

QUESTION 7. Speed. Assuming a 60 km commute, of which 45 km is motorway and 15 km is town traffic, how much quicker does commuting at 10 kph over the limit get you home, where the motorway limit is 120 kph and the off-motorway limit is 50 kph?

a. 4 minutes and 44 seconds.

b. Nothing.

c. It adds to the time taken.

It takes (45/120 x 60) + (15/50 x 60) minutes to drive home at the regulation speed = 40’30”. If you up the speed by 10 kph, the result becomes (45/130 x 60) + (15/60 x 60) = 35’46”. Therefore you save 4’44”. If there is nothing else on the road, that is.

On average, stoppages due to traffic lights, level crossings, zebra crossings, etc. will be exactly the same in both journeys, so, being a constant, they do not affect the equation.

It is possible that you can weave through traffic so adeptly that the saving applies AS IF there were no other traffic. However, this has an effect on the other traffic: it raises tensions and may force them into preventive manoeuvres, like braking, and these have the effect of slowing traffic down, not just the car doing the braking, but the one behind that, and behind that, and behind that, so that a feathering of the brakes by the first eventually becomes a 5-minute standstill for those farther down the line. Other drivers’ anxiety may be raised and they may even become angry, and angry drivers are no help to anybody, least of all themselves. Wild and unpredictable manoeuvres cause congestion owing to the safety margins of other drivers being increased by them to counter your wildness. And because you alone may not be wild, other wild drivers will eventually bring you to a stand-still. Perhaps you like the thrill of driving fast. It is thrilling, but it comes at the cost of worry for other road users and is therefore selfish.

The State of Montana in the USA used to have no speed limit at all, until relatively recently. With a very low population relative to a state twice the size of Ireland, people needed to get places fast, so the rules were done away with. In busy urban areas, however, excess speed brings no advantage. And at worst it can slow you down. If you did achieve the saving on that average commute – 4’44” – that’s about the time taken for a cup of coffee. The same time you wasted at the coffee machine in your paid midmorning break.

Drive to the rhythm of the traffic around you. If you speed up, you will inevitably come up against a law-abiding motorist sooner or later and then need to slow down, which increases your consumption quite dramatically (even if you’re electric) and pumps more exhaust particles into the air (except if you’re electric – they’ll be emitted at the power station on your behalf).

Perhaps in Montana, you still could be, but elsewhere you are rarely the only car on the road. Speeding ups the dangers to all road users, increases pollution, endangers playing children or mothers with prams and, in the end, saves you no useful time whatsoever, unless you increase it to a level beyond that at which you’re selfish, and simply become reckless.

And remember: the time taken to administer the paperwork for a rear-end shunt by far exceeds 4’44”. Funerals can be done quicker, however.

QUESTION 8. If you hear emergency sirens or see an emergency vehicle with blue/red flashing lights:

a. You must stop.

b. You should stop.

c. You should speed up to keep the way clear if that vehicle’s behind you.

d. If it’s in front of you, you do nothing, continue as normal.

e. You should assess how much room the vehicle has to pass you or to pass other oncoming vehicles if it is itself oncoming, and endeavour to make as much space as possible for it to proceed speedily.

We should never forget the meaning of that word: emergency. It means a life-threatening situation. Hearses are not emergency vehicles – they can take an eternity, for that‘s where their passenger is headed; but the police and other rescue services are usually hastening to save someone’s life; one day, it may be yours.

You will likely hear the siren (unless your radio is so loud, you cannot hear yourself think) before you see the blue light – ascertain where it is coming from and take appropriate action as below.

Some countries have particular rules and you should familiarise yourself with them or note what local drivers do when you’re there, if the occasion arises. In Canada, for instance, you must stop regardless of which direction the emergency vehicle is approaching from and pull well into the side of the road (or berm). I have heard of fines issued to drivers in the UK who, in a bid to make way for a fire engine, advanced over the stop line at a red traffic light, so the choice is a hard one in some cases. The general rule is that you should make as much space as possible for the emergency vehicle and yourself halt, whether it is passing you or an oncoming vehicle. If you continue moving, it becomes harder for the professional driver of the vehicle to assess what your intentions are and what you are going to do. He may swerve – carrying an injured patient in the back – or slow down to avoid unfortunate misjudgements – losing valuable time. And don’t make “just enough” space but ample space, so that the emergency driver can drop his caution a little and speed up to save that life that bit quicker. I have pulled over onto driveways to allow fire tenders to pass, which were followed or preceded by other cars. And the firemen never said thank you. I don’t care about either, because I did the right thing, even if others don’t, and what’s a thank you in such a case?  When seconds count, yours and mine don’t.

A blue-light vehicle may approach without sounding its siren, and this generally means something different according to the service. It is rare for a fire engine, I have never seen it. For police, they may douse sirens for any number of reasons: light traffic and late at night, out of consideration to sleeping residents; or a softly-softly operation, where the sirens would alert criminals in flagrante delicto. Ambulances will light their blue lights when carrying patients that are nevertheless not in a dangerous condition. An ambulance without siren or blue light is in transit between one operation and another. Blue-light status is also accorded to other services like gas companies for attending to leaks, or the Brussels tram company, etc., but these I have never heard sounding a siren. Ordinary private cars may not display blue flashing lights at any time, and to do so is a criminal offence.

Other lights:

Red/orange flashing light status is accorded to vehicles in difficulty, whilst standing at the roadside and those attending them, such as the Touring Wegenhulp, and towing services, plus unusual or hazardous loads, such as heavy transport convoys, and these may be used whilst moving. The flashing orange light means simply “beware of a hazard” (including a turn indicator, in theory), so using hazard lights on a normal run in the car may perhaps say something to others about your driving standard, but it’s not good advertising, and it’s an offence under the road traffic laws. The only tolerated exception for a private car is when braking suddenly owing to a stoppage on a motorway, but this must be done judiciously as it is pretty much a “panic signal” to other motorists, and can result in accidents if used injudiciously (in fact, if drivers are all concentrated on what they are doing, then the need for flashing indicators when stopping is really unnecessary, but it is tolerated).

White: white lights may only be shown in the direction of travel. “KC” and “trail” lights as sometimes fitted to sports cars and pick-ups/Jeeps may not be illuminated on the public highway, only when driving off road. The white reversing light should only be illuminated when reverse gear is engaged. It is illegal to have a separate spot light other than on police vehicles etc., and to use one whilst driving is a criminal offence as well.

Where a road is lit with lamp standards, you should drive with dipped headlights (white or yellow are allowed). Parking lights are for parking only, and you may not drive on them alone. Full beam is for roads that are not lit at night. When you see red tail-lights ahead, they should be immediately dipped, as the other car’s red lights will adequately indicate the route to follow and, if they disappear, because the car ahead has turned a corner or gone over a hill, then you may relight your full beam until they reappear into view. You must also dip your headlights the second you see oncoming vehicles (you will see the “aura” of their lights as they come closer, before you see the lights themselves, and you should dip yours even if they themselves fail to dip theirs. One blind driver and one seeing driver is better than two blind drivers. These rules tend to get forgotten on unlit motorways, but the potential to produce glare for oncoming vehicles is just the same, so they apply there as well. Visibility on motorways is rarely so poor as to require full beam anyway, but at places where you will not glare another driver, you may use full beam to reconnoitre the way ahead, but turn them down to dipped as soon as you can and in any case if you would glare someone else.

Red lights may only be shown at the back of the vehicle, for braking, as a reflector, as a driving light, or as a fog light. In fog, you should always use dipped headlights – full beam will obscure the way ahead even more, or use yellow or white fog lights at the front. Check what you can see on other vehicles in fog or mist: if you can see adequately a good distance ahead, consider whether your rear fog light is a distraction to those following you; in standing traffic, it is courteous to switch the rear fog light off, until space develops between the cars as they get into motion: it can be annoying in standing traffic.

Check your lights regularly and carry replacement bulbs and fuses.

QUESTION 9. When approaching traffic lights at red:

a. Slow down well ahead of the light, so that you do not need to stop, but can proceed easily when it turns green.

b. Stop as you would at a stop sign, apply the handbrake, engage the first gear with the clutch depressed and your clutch foot ready, and wait for it to change.

Answer (a) saves fuel, though many cars will cut the engine automatically when stopped at a traffic light, so the saving is minimal. However, slowing down for the red light assumes that everyone behind you would also be slowing down, and at the same pace, and doing so can tend to “dawdling” for no real apparent reason, raising frustration in other drivers’ minds. Simply drive up to the stop indication as normal, stop and prepare for the imminent off again, in a manner that is predictable and – yet again – reminds others that you know that yours is not the only car on the road.

QUESTION 10. When approaching traffic lights at green:

a. Slow down or brake, even for proceeding straight ahead.

b. Continue as normal, as if the lights were not there.

c. Gun the gas to ensure you pass at green.

d. All three.

First, a crossing is a potential danger point and slowing is not ill advised, but if you are in a stream of traffic it could cause irritation or mean those behind see green but cannot fathom why you are not proceeding. So slow if you’re on your own, but if you’re behind other cars that are proceeding, keep up with the flow, but watch for turners ahead of you.

Second, it can be hard to gauge precisely your stopping distance to lights. Designers build in the amber signal as meaning: if you see this in your normal field of vision while you are travelling at the indicated speed for the road, you have time to change down normally and stop without causing any danger. However, if you don’t see it because you are very close to the line or only out of the corner of your eye, you may proceed, or even gun the gas a little to ensure you clear the junction safely. Where a junction makes separate provision for pedestrians or cycles, you may see their lights already change from green to red for the direction you are travelling – if they do so there is a good possibility that the main roadway light will also change shortly afterwards – pedestrians need more time to complete a crossing manoeuvre than do cars. Answer (d) – all three.

QUESTION 11. A traffic light is accompanied by:

a. A solid white stop line across the carriageway.

b. A repeater signal on the far side of the crossing.

c. A repeater on the far side in the form of a cross.

d. A stop or give way sign.

e. Pedestrian crossing lights (walk/don’t walk).

f. Filter arrows.

g. All the above.

h. None of the above.

i. Some of the above.

Most countries have (a); on cobbled streets they get very worn very quickly, so may be hard to see, but the light is your guide anyway. You must stop before the white line and certainly before the red light – many drivers stop well before the red light so as to be able to see it change. Some stop so far back (so they don’t even need to move their eyes) that you may think they have parked. This is disingenuous if you can see that the junction is fitted with (b), a repeater, showing the same signal as for you, but on the opposite side of the road and the far side of the junction. If that signal is (c) in the form of a cross, it indicates not what you are supposed to do but what is showing to ONCOMING traffic. If you are turning, you may have already moved onto the junction in preparation, and this light may change before or after your own, to indicate the oncoming traffic is stopping. Prudence is always advocated, but at traffic lights we must place greater trust in the attention paid by other drivers to the signals, as their purpose is to regulate traffic and keep it moving. In some countries there will also be (d) a stop or give way sign, to regulate traffic in the event the lights are not functioning. If the lights are out, the signs apply, but not if the lights are on. Where a police officer is controlling traffic at the junction, the signs and lights should still be observed, though the officer may express irritation if you fail immediately to follow his directions – it’s a hard call. Pedestrian crossing lights (e) are for pedestrians only, but you should watch for pedestrians who jaywalk. They are not for cyclists, who must dismount to cross a pedestrian crossing. Watch for filter arrows (f) – they are intended to speed the traffic flow up, so if you see there is one in front but not yet on, watch for it being lit to indicate you can proceed in the direction indicated and make sure you’re in the correct lane for doing so – sometimes they are also there for going straight ahead, so that only turning traffic is halted. In some countries (Germany – especially former East Germany), a permanent filter may be indicated on a fixed sign – you may turn right on a red light there, provided the way is clear and it is safe to do so. If the traffic lights show flashing amber, the fixed signs apply, failing which the junction is an unmarked crossing, where the rule of “give way to the right” applies. Correct answer is therefore (i).

QUESTION 12. Bikes headed in your own direction

a. Must travel on your side of the road, even if there’s a cycle path.

b. Must travel on the opposite side of the road.

c. May travel on either side of the road.

Whether or not there is a special cycle path, bikes must stick to the correct side of the road, unless the local authority has designated a two-way cycle path on one or both sides of the road (these are generally segregated from motorised traffic; uni-directional paths need not be). Depending on road width, a cycle path may be bordered by a solid line, a dotted line or no line (or may be indicated by a change in road surface colouring). Motor traffic may not cross a solid line (not ever); a dotted line may be crossed where circumstances require, though bikes have priority use of the track. Where there is no line, just a painted “cycle” symbol, motorised traffic needs to be aware of bicycles and grant them the space they need, but may also occupy that part of the roadway for normal driving. A distance must be maintained from bikes of 1.5 metres (in case they stumble, fall or need to swerve). How you avoid a bike approaching you within 1.5 metres is another matter – with bikes you need to be generous with your common sense – you take a test to drive; cyclists don’t need to even read the Highway Code, though many do – they’re not under a death wish. I once knocked a boy off his bike – he was unhurt, but his wheel was bent, because he came the wrong way around a roundabout – my attention was to my left for approaching traffic, and he came from the right. He was okay, I took him home and paid for a new wheel. If he’d been dead, I don’t think that 50 euros would have covered it. Look both ways at all cycle paths, because cyclists need our protection as well as to protect themselves.

QUESTION 13. At a roundabout at which you wish to exit at 9 o’clock (turning left), signal:

a. To the right as you approach the roundabout and again to the right as you wish to exit.

b. To the left as you approach the roundabout and change to signalling right as you wish to exit.

c. To the right when entering the roundabout and not at all as you exit.

d. Only signal right when exiting the roundabout.

The answer is (d). The law changed 20 years or more ago, but some drivers passed their test longer ago than even that, like me. The old rule was to blink left on approach (no signal if you intended to go out at 12 o’clock or any exit after the first, except the last, and right if you wanted out at 3 o’clock, or the first exit). At a four-armed junction, this was fairly simple, but more complex for a five or more-armed junction, so a new rule was introduced which says, contrary to the rule of general application (which is that even when following the major route, you should signal as you turn junction corners) and because at a roundabout there is no alternative but to feed onto its system, no signal is given upon entry, only before exiting, when a right signal is given. If you don’t signal on exit, it’s rarely of any consequence for cars following you, unless you’re at the inside of the roundabout and it has two or more lanes – obviously you need to cross to the exit lane; however, it causes vehicles waiting to enter the system to wait unnecessarily till they see you exit before moving onto the roundabout, and this is counter-intuitive: roundabouts are built with the intention of keeping the traffic flowing and any action that unnecessarily or through thoughtlessness brings other vehicles to a halt or slows them down for no cause is contrary to the whole point of the roundabout, which is built for you and for others, not just for you. Selfishness brings traffic to a halt; roundabouts are a means to keep it flowing. Besides which, it’s the law.